Moonlight

'You know, she had been ditched by her boyfriend. She is your employee.'
'Yes, but how can that stop me from loving her?'
'Are you planning to take advantage of her?'
'No. Not at all. She still loves her boyfriend and expects him to return to him. She will never reciprocate to my feelings.'
'Then, why are you wasting your time on her?'
'Loving some one isn't wasting time.'


'It is, if you are not going to get the person in your life.'
'No. I don't take it in that way. Love is divine. Loving anyone and living for anyone make you feel good. Well, atleast it is making me feel so good.'
'You and your love philosophies. But i think, she is reading the clues. She might leave you one day.'
'No, she can't. She will not.'
'Yes, why not? She is taking you as her employer. She is working in your restaurant for money.'
'No. She takes care of me and this place so well, no other employee had ever done this.'
'Yeah, this is because she is a very simple girl and soft-hearted. Besides she is so sensitive. Can't see anyone sad. You yourself told me once that she pays the bill of poor kids who often drop by, from her salary.'

'Hmm, see I never want to impose on her. Perhaps I will never be able to ask her out. '
'So love silently, die silently?'
'On the contrary, love silently, LIVE silently, whole life together.' He smiled.
'Without taking this to the next level?'
'Yes. Very much.'
'There is something in her, the day she came I felt like working for someone. I felt like working for her. Do you remember what was the condition of this place before her. She has the charisma and it transformed me and this place.'
'This is what you feel. This is because you felt like working and improving this place. Nothing because of her or because her input into this was nothing more than other employees. '
'Whatever, you know, not all can make you feel good every time you see them, or impact your feelings and views on something, silently. She never uttered a word about this to me. I felt myself how should I change this place and transform this into much better place which suits her.'
'Why don't you gift her a flat and vehicle?'
'That won't be appropriate.'
'Oh, it will be, very much. Since you already want to change this according to her and make it like a paradise for her. So you must provide her other comforts too!'
'I still find that inappropriate. May be on some big and suitable occasion.'
'Well, this fairy tale kind of love story will never end. Hey, does this mean, you will never marry? Since you can't propose her and you can't love anyone else?'
'Yes.'
'What ? Are you crazy?'
'Maybe.'
'Easy to say.'
'Yes, maybe. But I cannot think of anyone else. I quit smoking, drinking and all other bad habits since she has come. I feel responsible for her. I feel alive whenever I see her. At home, when I cannot see her, I feel dead so  many times. Only small intervals in between I come back to life when I recall her pretty smile, her innocent eyes, her talks and actions. It is like, every moment, I think of her. I want to work for her. Want her to be happy.'

'Are you in love or some sort of mad obsession?'
'I don't know. But surely I don't want to force myself on her.'
'Will you keep it secret from her?'
'Yes, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable either.'
'Secret-one-sided love with no good end.'
'Whatever you may call it, I am enjoying it. I won't be angry on her even if she goes back with her boyfriend.'
'Hmm'
'Only that I will miss her like one alive person could miss one's life.'
'You silly weirdo.'
He smiled in answer.
'2 o'clock. Lunch time over. I must go now. Will check you out the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow I am engaged in a meeting, so will have lunch over there only.'
'Okay. '
'And you better reach to some definite end to this, otherwise if things are left unsaid, you both may regret for lifelong.'
'Told you, I am intending to, but I will see.'
'Bye'
They shook hands and his childhood friend left for his office.
He looked towards her. It was always a great relief to see her face, to see her around him. She was serving to the couple in table no. 3. She was serving it with the utmost manner just as she always does. But he marked the difference in her face. Her smile was missing. She looked gloomier than usual.
'Something was wrong. Did anyone say anything to her when I was busy in the talk. I hope she is feeling well. Shall I ask? Or may be I should wait till the evening.'

He waited. He waited and constantly watched her. Time passed. It was 7:30 p.m.. Time to close.

She came quietly to him, for a moment she looked up at his eyes and then looked to the table.
'What happened? Everything fine?' He asked.
He did not miss the chance to see clearly into her watery, red eyes. He was worried. 'Had been she crying since lunch time? Withholding tears? But why?' 
'Sir, I want to talk to you.'
'Yes, say.' His heart paced.
He thought something, then replied to himself, 'No. she isn't here to resign.'
'What? Sorry sir, did you say something?'
'Um, no, carry on. What is it you want to talk about?'

She hesitated and then looked towards other employees who were wrapping things up. Perhaps other employee already knew his feelings towards her. They did not mind it now. In fact he had changed so much after her joining, he started to teach all them with love and respect. They were now able to connect themselves with  him. Besides, they all knew that he had no one with him for last five years. This restaurant was passed to him from his father and he never had any interest in this before she came. The others have already started taking the two as a couple.

'Okay, say whenever you feel right. Shall I drop you to your home?'
'Yes, please.'
'Okay.'
After fifteen minutes all other employees left. Just two of them were left. He was sitting on window side, gazing the stars. She was standing beside him, gathering courage to say something. However, for several  moments he forgot the fact that she was there because she wanted to talk to him. He was busy gazing stars while feeling the mild scent she wore and her presence, which had always made him feel alive. This moment was heavenly for him.
'Sir?'
Her voice broke the silence and he drew his attention towards her.
'Why were you crying? You have been crying all day, haven't you?'

She was taken aback. She went speechless. She stood there in silence thinking what to say.
'How do you know I had been...'
'I can see your red watery eyes, I can see you weren't smiling.' He answered before she could complete her question. 'Is something bothering you?'
'Yes'
'What?'
'Today, during lunch time, I was coming to your cabin when you were talking to your friend to ask to change the menu a bit according to the season. Many customers had also asked for this.'
'So? Why didn't you come in?'  He sensed that she had heard their conversation and may now drift apart from him.
'I heard your conversation.' She said. A tear trickled down her left cheek.
He was shocked. He just didn't know what to say. How to frame sentence. How to speak anything.He wasn't prepared for this. He was petrified by the mere thought of being without her. He wished to say everything he felt for her without offending her or making her sad. At last he broke this awkward silence.
'You have been my life.'
'Since the very first day?' Her throat was choked.
'Yes.'
'You know all about my life.'
'Yes.'
'Even then?'
'Yes.'
'How could...'

Again he knew what she was asking before she could complete her question. The moment there seemed to freeze. It was full moon night, so they had a power cut in their area. They were standing beside the window in moonlight with all star scattered in sky till the horizon. He felt this was the moment. He suddenly felt that whatever he says to her, she will not leave him. Not because she has forgotten her ex-bf or she direly needs the job. But he felt a bond between himself and her. She won't be angry or sad even if he confesses his love for her. Here was the moment for him. All these thoughts passed his mind in a flash.

'It doesn't make any difference on my feelings for you. Yes, I love you.'

He paused again. This was even more awkward pause. He never thought he would say this. Just this afternoon he promised himself to keep this as secret. Her head was bent down. She was looking to road outside like infinity. Her eyes were teary but her face was emotionless. He felt he must say something more.

'I can't live without you. I feel lifeless when you are not around. I forget my existence as a human being with a heart when you are away. I feel like a dead body  and in each breathe I hope to see you again. I feel alive, I feel the best, my brain has no chaos in it when you are around. I know, we are not committed into any relation right now, but I don't want to stay away from you. You are my love, you are my life. I might have finished my life long back. But when you came in my life, I felt bonded with you. Your smile makes me forget all my problems and sorrows. I want you to smile forever. I am, perhaps, living for you, your happiness, your smile.'

Tears were running down her cheeks and in midway to chin were falling to the window sill.
For the first time since he had met her, he wasn't feeling bad for her tears. He was not consoling her. Maybe it will make her heart feel light. Maybe she will forget her ex-boyfriend in those tears. Maybe her ex-boyfriend is trickling down her cheeks and drying in the window sill.

He continued, 'I don't wan't to impose anything on you. It is not that I want you to feel the same for me. but please, don't move out of my life. Or I will choke to death.'
She was now wiping her tears. 'I felt the same for him.'
She looked back into his eyes. The tears were shining in her eyes. They were shining like diamonds in the moonlight.
He smiled, 'I know.'
'How is that you know everything I feel?'
'I don't know that.' He smiled again. This time he felt a sharp pain in his heart. Perhaps he can't continue this talk without crying out his heart and begging her to come to him, which his heart was forbidding earlier to do.
'So?'
'So??'
'So what do you say?'  He looked deep into her eyes with a hope. She turned away and fixed her gaze into the road again.
'I don't know. I know he will never come back to me. But I can't help myself from hoping that he will return to me one day. Perhaps, you know this time also, what am I feeling? Perhaps more clearly than me. Don't you?'

'I do.' He smiled. He was amazed at his reply. How could he tell which feeling in her was the strongest among all the feelings? But he felt a vibe coming from her and giving him the answer.
'You are not leaving me. This is more than enough for me. I can spend my life by mere presence of your's. I won't ask you to feel the same way for me. Just continue your work here as you are doing. Is it okay?' He felt the pain again.

She nodded. 'I need time.'
'Take yours. You have my lifetime.' He felt relieved. He was sure that she won't leave him now under any circumstance. He felt alive again. Alive for lifetime this time.

She was staring the kids playing in the moonlight in the road, her eyes were dry now. She looked lifeless.
'It is not that I desire you, it is the fact that I need you. I need your presence in my life. It inspires me to live in better way.'
She turned and embraced him, whispering, 'And I need this love to live.'
This was the moment of bliss for him for he knew she had accepted him. He could sense her feelings and her love too now.